100 Ways To Love Your Child
by Lego Vasavouchi
Summary: Yugi's grandpa feels like he's drifting, so he goes in search of a solution. What he finds in a counselor's waiting room may just drive Yugi insane. PG13 for later content.
1. The Pamphlet

**100 Ways To Love Your Child**

**Chapter 1- The Pamphlet**

Disclaimer: I own not Yugioh, nor anything else mentioned unless it's coffee.

Yugi Mouto snuggled deep into his blankets, sleeping peacefully. The sun, just up, was kept at bay by his bedroom shutters. His shadowy bedroom was a horrible mess: clothes were strewn across the floor; his school bag lay upside-down in a corner with books slipping out of it. His dresser drawers were half open, socks hanging out of them, and the trash can was overflowing with crumpled drawing paper. The only neat thing was his desk. A photo album filled with pictures of his best friends, his dueling deck, a cup of pens and pencils, and a sketchbook full of duel monsters were all arranged neatly. The room a mess, yes, but comfortable. Serene. His. Nothing would disturb the sanctity of his-

BANG BANG BANG "Yugi!" His grandpa opened the door. "Get up Yugi, or you'll be late for school! Don't make me drag you down the stairs like I did last week!" He started to close the door, then stopped. "And clean your room! It's a pigsty in here and you're not leaving till it's clean. Now get up!" With that, he slammed the door shut and tromped down the stairs.

"Good morning, Grandpa," Yugi mumbled, sitting groggily up. He instinctively reached over to his bedpost and slipped the Millennium Puzzle around his neck. "Morning Yami," he yawned. He got up and stretched, and his darker half appeared beside him in spirit form.

"Seep well?" Yami asked.

Yugi smacked at the taste of morning and trudged out of his room to the bathroom. "Well, I was sleeping well until Gramps barged in and started screaming." He sighed, squeezing his usual mint toothpaste onto his toothbrush. "I don't know what's gotten into him lately. Have you noticed how grumpy and gloomy he's been?" Yugi started scrubbing his teeth vigorously.

"Yes, I have noticed," Yami said. "Underneath the anger he seems distracted, almost worried."

"Ergeed? Ow n u ell?" Yugi gurgled, pasty foam dripping out of his mouth and dribbling down his chin.

"Rinse, spit, then speak," Yami said patiently.

Yugi followed his directions, then wiped the toothpaste off his chin with a washcloth. "Worried? How can you tell?" he repeated.

Yami shrugged "I can see it in his eyes." he said simply.

"You always could read people like that," Yugi said. "But what on earth could he possibly be worried about?" He walked back into his room, found his school uniform stuffed under his desk, and started getting dressed. "I mean, business with the shop is fine, I'm fine, he's --" Yugi stopped in the middle of pulling his pants up, and his big eyes got even bigger. "Oh no, Yami, you don't think he's sick? What if he's got some kind of cancer…what if he's dying?" Yugi sat on his bed with his pants still around his knees. Spirit Yami sat next to him and put a comforting, ethereal hand on his smaller half's shoulder.

"I'm sure we're just making a pyramid out of an anthill. It's probably nothing, really," he said comfortingly.

Yugi smiled up at his other half. "You're probably right. Thanks, Yami."

BANG Yugi's door flew open, and his grandpa stood glaring. "Why aren't you downstairs yet?" His eyes widened suspiciously, and he started at Yugi. "What were you doing with such a big smile and your pants down?"

Yugi turned bright red and leaped to his feet, yanking his pants up. "Nothing, Gramps! Just getting dressed and cleaning up!" His grandfather hesitated, then said with a little less force, "Well, hurry up and finish cleaning." He shut the door.

Little Yugi frowned. "Why did Grampa have such a funny look on his face when he saw me?" he asked, genuinely puzzled. In the back of his mind, Yami snickered. Yugi remained clueless and hurried to clean his room. Once he had finished shoving books into his bag, carefully placing his dueling deck in his special belt and tucking his sketchbook under his arm, he left his room and trotted down the stairs into the kitchen. He drank a quick glass of orange juice -- his grandpa never fixed him breakfast anymore -- and skipped out the door with a simple "Bye Gramps."

As soon as the door slammed, Mr. Mouto heaved a great sigh. Things just didn't seem right anymore. He felt like he didn't know what to do with his grandson; he felt they were drifting apart. He didn't really _mean_ to yell at Yugi so much lately, it's just that all his frustration and insecurity came out as anger and…no matter. After today, things should start looking up.

Forty-five minutes later, while Yugi was in his first period study hall, his grandpa was in a family counselor's waiting room. He folded and unfolded is hands nervously. Yes, it was a _family_ counselor, but he wanted to talk to the counselor alone before he decided to bring Yugi here. He had future appointments scheduled for every Monday just after school. A counselor _had_ to help.

The lady at the desk peered over her inch-thick glasses. "Are you…Mr. Mootoo?"

"Mouto," he corrected her. "That's me."

"Right then, Mr. Mushu," she croaked, still peering over her glasses. "The counselor, Ms. Frodd, will be with you in perhaps half an hour."

"_Mouto_. And what on earth is taking her so long?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Marlow, but she isn't here right now."

"Mouto. Mou-to! And where is she?"

Peer. "She's seeing her therapist. Just have patience, Mr. Myrtle."

Maybe counseling _wasn't_ the answer. He slumped back in his chair, when he spied a pile of pamphlets. A sign above them said "Take One," and one of the pamphlets' titles sparked his interest. He flipped it open. It was short. It was simple. It was the perfect solution to his problems with Yugi! "These are magnificent! Excuse me ma'am," he addressed the googly-eyed, croaky receptionist, "Do you use these ideas in any specific order?"

She peered at the contents of the pamphlet. "Well, Mr. Moocow," she croaked. "I suggest you do them all in whatever order you feel necessary."

Grandfather of dueling champ didn't even bother to correct her. "Thanks! Do me a favor and cancel all my future appointments. I've already found a solution!" He raced out of the office waving the pamphlet over his head. On the way, he bumped into a young woman. She eyed him as he rushed gleefully out, and approached the receptionist.

"So who was that?" she asked.

"A Mr. Mouto," came the reply.

"Did he--?"

"Yup."

Ms. Frodd smiled calmly. "We'll be seeing him again soon enough."


	2. A Better Connection?

**100 Ways To Love Your Child**

Chapter 2- A Better Connection?

(Please see bio)

The last school bell rang, and students poured out into the halls of Domino High. Yugi gathered up his books and things, then walked with his friends out the door. "See you guys tomorrow," he said. "Who knows? Maybe Grampa will be in a better mood when I get home!"

"I'm sure if you show him a little friendship, everything will be fine!" Tea encouraged.

"Oh for God's sake, Tea, it's his Grandpa!" Tristan cried.

"Yeah, what's he sposed to do?" laughed Joey. "Take 'im to the arcade 'er do homework tugether an' stuff?"

"What're you talking about, Joey? You never do homework!" Tea scolded disapprovingly. "All someone has to do is offer you food and you'll be their best friend for life!"

"That is _not_ true!" Joey protested.

"Yeah, depends what kind of food and how much," Tristan prodded.

"Well, in any case, good luck with your grandfather," Ryou said with a quiet smile as the others traded insults.

"Thanks guys!" Yugi said. "I'll let you know tomorrow if there's any change!" Then he turned homeward bound with a happy mind. Telling his friends about his worries had been a good choice; they had been so supportive.

/You've been a big help too, Yami/ Yugi addressed his other half mentally. /I swear I'd forget how to live if I didn't have you with me/

/I try my best/ Yami replied. He kept his thoughts locked in his maze-like half of their mind. He tried to make like everything was all right, but somehow he sensed something building like a tidal wave. A change was coming, and something told him it was going to be a bad one. But, not wanting to burden Yugi's jovial little mind, he held it all back. /I'll always be here for you./

/I know./ Yugi grinned. He wouldn't let Grandpa get him down, no matter what kind of mood he was in!

"I'm home!" he announced, bursting through his front door.

"Hey there Yugi! How's my favorite grandson?" Mr. Mouto bustled in and hugged Yugi. "I love you!"

Yugi was in shock for a moment, then he smiled again. "I love you too Gramps!" They broke off the hug, and Yugi, though puzzled, was pleased. His grandpa's mood had definitely improved! "I've got homework to do, so I'll be up in my room for a while, okay?" Yugi headed past his grandpa for the stairs.

_Number 23..._ went through Mr. Mouto's mind. _Help them with their homework_… "No wait! You can do it down here on the kitchen table. I'll help you with it!"

Yugi paused, unsure, then smiled a little. "Okay." He walked to the table, dropped his bag on the floor, and started pulling things out.

_Feed them nutritious meals and snacks, number 29..._ "I'll fix us a little snack!" Grandpa hurried over to the refrigerator and dug deep into the drawer of fruits and vegetables.

"Okay. I'm doing my math first. Algebra II. I need help memorizing the quadratic formula, it's driving me crazy!"

"The quadratic formula?" Grandpa asked, cutting celery. "Oh, I remember! It's 'a' squared plus 'b' squared equals 'c' squared!"

"Uh, no Gramps, that's the Pythagorean theorem," Yugi said with a frown. "The quadratic formula is 'c' squared plus the square root of…no wait, that's not right, it's 'b' squared plus or minus the integral…no, that's calculus…Argh!" He banged his head on the table in frustration.

Grandpa brought a little plate of peanut butter celery sticks to the table. "Here. Eat. It'll help you concentrate. I remember which one you're talking about now. It goes, 'b' squared plus the square root of negative 'c' minus 2 'a' 'c' all over 4 'b'."

"Yeah!" Yugi said, brightening. "Yeah, that sounds right, thanks Gramps!" He took a bite of a celery stick and started writing.

An hour later, Yugi and finished his Algebra II and written a quick summary on how Mr. Rochester had kidnapped Bilbo in Daniel Defoe's _Tale of Two Cities_. "Thanks for the help, Grandpa! I didn't understand the reading assignment at all; you sure cleared it up for me!"

_Number two, give them lots of hugs…_ "Anytime, Yugi," Grandpa said, giving his grandson a quick hug. "Anything else you need? Anything at all?"

"Uh, no, that's okay Grampa," Yugi assured him. "I'll be in my room." He picked up his books and trotted up the stairs.

His grandfather had an urge to follow him and keep the connection, but _37, respect their privacy_ held him back. Yes, just live by the pamphlet and everything would become perfect. Nothing could go wrong.

Yugi tossed his schoolbooks on his bed and carefully set his precious sketchbook on his desk. Next, he pulled out his dueling deck, set it next to this sketchbook, and put his next art project on the top of the deck: Dark Magician Girl. He sighed a little, admiring the pretty sorceress. He would definitely do this one in color.

About two hours later, Mr. Mouto knocked gently and peeked into Yugi's room. "Yugi?" Little Yugi was so engrossed in his artwork he didn't notice his grandfather come into his room. Grandpa paused, then moved slowly to stand behind Yugi and peer over his shoulder. Yugi was meticulously coloring in the deep green eyes of the Dark Magician Girl. He watched his grandson for a wile, then _praise them often, number 38_ brought him to his senses. "Wow, Yugi, that looks great!"

Yugi jumped in surprise, and the green pencil he was using jerked up across the Dark Magician Girl's head. "Oh no!" he wailed in distress. "I worked on this forever, now it's ruined!" He hung his head.

"I'm so sorry, Yugi!" his grandpa apologized. _66, remember number 66, hug them when they're sad… _He put his arms around Yugi. "I didn't mean to!"

Yugi sniffled a little, then sighed. "I know you didn't. It's okay, I'll try to fix it later."

Relived, his grandpa smiled. "Alright. I came to tell you dinner's ready."

"Dinner?" Yugi looked up at him curiously. "You cooked.?"

"Of course! I'm so proud of you," (_number 98_), "so I have to take care of you, right?"

"I…guess so," Yugi said.

"Come on down, your plate's getting cold." He patted Yugi n the back, then followed him downstairs. He watched Yugi's face as they came into the kitchen and saw the table set, plates full of food, glasses full of milk, and forks on the left. His little jaw positively dropped.

"Grampa, what on _earth_? Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, a salad? What-"

"Sit! Sit!" his grandpa urged. _Number 94:_ "I'm allowed to spoil you once in a while, aren't I?"

"I guess…" Yugi said uncertainly. He sat down, took a second to find his fork, then stabbed a chicken strip. He held it up, sniffed it, took a tentative bite, and- "Wow! It tastes great!" He tore into the meal without a second to spare. If he kept eating like this, he was bound to hit a growth spurt…this new change may have a good side effect, since being called "shrimp" all the time did get rather annoying.

"Thanks, Yugi." Grandpa took a bite of his salad, swallowed, then said, "I love you."

Yugi choked on his chicken. His eyes got big; he started coughing and reached desperately for is milk and start chugging. The chicken finally went down, and he gasped for breath. Once he breathed steadily, he smiled uncertainly and said, "Uh, ditto Gramps."

They finished their dinner with Mr. Mouto making friendly conversation and Yugi quietly giving one word responses. After all was done, his grandpa, inspired by _number 58, give them special family jobs, _said, "Before you go Yugi, I've got a little job for you. Would you mind rinsing the dishes for me?"

"I s'pose," Yugi said quietly.

Minutes later, after an almost unwanted hug, Yugi raced upstairs. _Number 93_ had his grandpa calling up after him, "Don't forget to brush your teeth!"

"I won't!" Yugi called back. He brushed his teeth, raced back to his room, undressed, and leaped in bed. /This attention is getting creepy fast/ he whined mentally.

/I'm sorry Yugi. Perhaps if you ignore it, it will go away./ Yami suggested.

/I sure hope so./ Yugi thought. /At least I won't have to deal with him till morning, right-/

"Hey Yugi?" The thought was cut off as his grandpa peeked into the room. "You in bed? I just came to tuck you in." _Number 74_.

/Tuck me in! This is ridiculous, Yami/ Out loud, he said, "M-kay."

Mr. Mouto sat on the edge of the bed, pulled the covers up around Yugi's shoulder, and kissed his forehead gently. "G'night, sweetie. I love you." _Number 73, say "I love you!" at least three times a day.._yup, that was the third

"'Night Grampa," Yugi mumbled.

Grandpa Mouto left the room quietly, praising the pamphlet in his mind. It was working! Tomorrow he would go over more of the ideas, loads of them…he could feel a better connection already.


	3. Pancakes

**100 Ways To Love Your Child**

Chapter 3- Pancakes

In case I forgot previously, I do not own Yugioh, but will someday write my own manga! Muahahah!

"Yugi?" Grandpa Mouto gently shook his grandson. _Number 75: Wake them with a smile_ kept a friendly grin on his face. "Come on Yugi, time to get up."

Yugi reluctantly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw that Tuesday morning was his grandfather's smiling face. /Crap/ he thought. /This mood change is lasting way too long/ He automatically slipped the Millennium Puzzle around his neck and was met by an admonition.

/Yugi! Don't say that word, it's rude/

/I'm sorry Yami. It's not _that_ bad/ Yugi sighed and sat up.

"Hurry up and come downstairs for breakfast," his grandpa urged gently. "Oh, and don't forget to brush your teeth!" He hugged him, then went downstairs.

Yugi bared his teeth in annoyance. /Since when does he have to remind me to brush my teeth? And breakfast? What the hell is up with that/

/Yugi/ Yami scolded.

/Sorry. / Yugi sighed again, then went about his early morning ritual. He then trudged down the stairs, looking forward to an actual meal, but dreading his grandpa's horrible cheeriness.

"Sit, Yugi! Sit, sit!" Grampa bustled around, and the smell of pancakes wafted through the air.

Yugi plopped into his chair. His growling stomach was the only thing that kept him from going into an absolute fit at his grandfather's behavior. He inhaled deeply, and his mood meter increased slightly.

"Here you go," his grandpa said cheerily, setting a plate stacked with pancakes: six of them made a tower. Butter was melting and dripping on the top pancake and between each one on the way down. Yugi started salivating. "There are blueberries and chocolate chips in them, and you have your choice of syrup, whipped cream, or strawberry toppings."

Yugi stared at the pancakes. They looked so delicious, but…but…they were _heart-shaped_! Oh well. He piled strawberries, whipped cream, and syrup on his pancakes and cleaned his plate in two minutes flat. "Thanks Gramps, that was good," he said, hurrying upstairs to collect his books.

"Don't forget to brush your teeth!"

"_Yes _Grampa," Yugi snarled. He brushed his teeth, stuffed his books and sketchbook into his bag, grabbed his deck and raced down the stairs and out the door.

"Bye Yugi! I love you! See you after school!"

Yugi didn't even answer. He slowed to a trot after a block. /Yami, this is awful! He's getting worse! Did you notice the heart-shaped pancakes/

/I noticed/ Yami replied. /You seemed to enjoy them/

/Well, _yeah_, I was hungry! But the heart shape was so disturbing/ Yugi kicked a rock and growled in frustration. "Oh well," he said to himself out loud. "It's almost June, and once school's out, I'll be able to spend all my time away from home with my friends!" A sudden breeze made him shiver, and he glanced up at the sky. Ominous black clouds rolled slowly closer. The wind picked up, and so did Yugi's pace. By the time he reached Domino High, fat raindrops had begun to fall. He stopped just inside the door to shake the water out of his spiky hair.

At his locker he was joined by Joey and Tristan. "Hey man, did you see the sky out there?" Tristan asked. "It looks vicious!"

"Yeah, well, the weather's the least of my worries," Yugi mumbled. "Gramps has gotten even worse!"

"Still yellin at ya?" Joey sympathized.

"No, it's worse! He's being nice!"

Joey and Tristan both frowned in confusion. "I thought that's what you wanted," Tristan said.

"So did I." Yugi slammed his locker shut and marched to his first period study hall. "And now I realize that I much prefer the yelling."

Joey and Tristan looked at one another uncertainly. They had never seen their friend in such a bad mood. Normally, cheerful, light-hearted little Yugi could make appendicitis look like a blessing. Yugi plopped sulkily into a chair at an empty table. Joey and Tristan silently took seats next to him. Yugi glared at his mechanical pencil, slowly clicking the lead out. Joey finally spoke up.

"Hey, Yug, it can't be that bad!"

Yugi glared at him, shoved the lead back in, and started clicking again.

Joey cleared his throat. "Well, maybe it can. What all did 'e do?"

"Well, he helped me with my homework, fixed me real food, said 'I love you' three times just yesterday, reminded me to brush my teeth, and fixed me heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast!" Yugi flopped forward on his desk and covered his head.

"Uh…" Joey and Tristan held back their snickers. "Well…" Joey started. "That doesn't sound so awful….granted, the heart-shaped pancakes are kinda creepy. But the rest just sounds like he cares 'bout ya and's tryin to feed ya a few decent meals. God knows ya could use some."

Yugi glared at him. "Thanks a _lot_ Joey."

/Yugi/

Yugi rolled his eyes and folded his arms. /What is it Yami/

/You need to calm down. I know your grandfather's behavior is bothering you, but perhaps you should appreciate the time you have _away_ from him and _not_ take your frustration out on your friends/

Yugi sighed and slid down in his seat. "You're right," he mumbled.

"Say what, Yug?" Joey asked tentatively.

"I'm sorry you guys. I didn't mean to take it out on you. It's just all so weird. I guess it doesn't sound as bad as it feels." He bit his lip. "I mean, he _did_ help me with my homework…." He pulled out his sketchbook. He hadn't shared any of his drawings with his friends, but he wanted to make a point. "But look at this." He flipped through to the picture of the Dark Magician Girl.

"Whoa, that's awesome!" Tristan praised, he and Joey leaning forward.

"I did'n know ya could draw!" Joey added. "But what's with that?" he asked, pointing to the green streak across her face.

"That's what I mean," Yugi said. "Grampa snuck up behind me and scared me. He _never_ used to come in my room."

"I can see how that would get annoyin," Joey said with a nod. He looked at Yugi hopefully. "Could we uh…look at the other pictures?"

"Sure," Yugi agreed. "Say, where're Ryou and Tea?"

Tristan looked up. "Ryou's over in a corner studying like crazy for that Algebra II test…and I dunno where Tea's at."

"Algebra II test?" Yugi said. "Oh no, I forgot about that!" He thought for a second. "Well, Gramps helped me with that, I've got the quadratic formula memorized thanks to him…"

"Wow Yug, these're awesome!" Joey exalted. "The Dark Magician, Gazelle, Chimera, you've got everything in here!" he looked at Yugi with his puppy dog eyes. "Any chance ya might draw somethin for me?"

Yugi grinned. "Sure. Like what?"

Joey shrugged. "Shoot, I dun care! Anything!"

"All right, I'll think of something." First period went uphill from there as the trio chatted animatedly over Yugi's sketches. All too soon, the bell rang, and Yugi went to his Algebra II class feeling quite prepared.

At the same time, Grandpa Mouto sat at the kitchen table going over his beloved pamphlet. He was making a list: Which numbers to do every day. This is what it looked like so far.

2. Give them lost of hugs.

3. Discipline them with love.

4. Listen to them.

7. Be patient.

10. Talk WITH them not AT them.

16. Remember that words can hurt.

18. Protect them from violence.

23. Help them with their homework.

He stared at the list. That was only the first page. Memorizing all of them would prove difficult. "Maybe I should just memorize the REALLY important ones, and keep the pamphlet with me to consult at all times….Okay, so which are the really important ones?"

38. Praise them.

41. Let them follow their own paths.

54. Be caring.

62. Let them know it's okay to make mistakes.

73. Say "I Love You!" at least three times a day.

93. Make sure they brush their teeth.

98. Let your kids now you're proud of them.

"There! Those ought to do…that's not so bad." he glanced out the window and saw the clouds. Thunder rumbled, and in the distance lightning split through the sky. Mr. Mouto just smiled. "Looks like I'll be able to do number 80 sometime soon!" If only Yugi knew what was in store for him…


	4. Another Counselor

**100 Ways to Love Your Child**

Disclaimer: In case I forgot this and in case you didn't realize this, I don't own YGO. And ignore my creativeness w/the teacher's name...

Chapter 4- Another Counselor…

The rain was pouring steadily down, and though it was only 2:50 pm, it was dark as midnight outside. Yugi sat in his history class, alternating between staring out into the gloom and counting down the seconds until the last bell. He was supposed to be looking up his history terms, but there was no way he was going to concentrate right now. No, not when he was _this_ mad. Ooh, Gramps was gonna get it as soon as he got home. That stupid piece of shi-

/Yugi/

"What?" Yugi growled loudly. The whole class stared at him, and Mr. Shizzle, his history teacher, squinted at him.

"Is there something you would like to share with the class?" Shizzle sneered.

"Uh, no sir," Yugi mumbled, lowering his head. "This history is just so…fascinating." His class members snorted derisively. /What _is it_, Yami/ he hissed mentally.

/Yugi, you need to calm down! Stop using such crude language! I don't know what's gotten into you, but you'd better fix it. I'm very disappointed in how you've been handling your anger lately-/

/What _are_ you, my therapist? Just leave me alone for once/ Yugi responded, annoyed.

/You obviously are in need of guidance, so I'm-/

"Just shut up, okay?" Yugi burst out, slamming his hands down on his desk.

"That is quite enough, Mouto!" scolded Mr. Shizzle. "Come here!"

Yugi marched angrily up to the teacher's desk, eyeing the slip he was filling out.

"Take this and go to the office. _They'll_ know what to do with you."

Yugi snatched the slip out of his hands and stormed out of the room. Great. Just great. Stupid Yami. Stupid teacher…. He shoved open the office door and smacked the slip down on Mrs. Mann's desk. She picked it up and held it two inches from her face.

"Mmm hmmm…Mmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm…. Yes, take this to the counselor," she said, handing it back to him and looking at him as though he were quite unstable. He just took the slip and strode past her to the counselor's office.

"Here," he mumbled, dropping the slip on the desk and slumping into the chair in front of the desk with his arms crossed.

The counselor read the slip carefully, then set it down gently and folded his hands. "So, Yugi, do you know why you are here?"

Yugi clasped his hands and batted his eyes. "No sir, my destiny is a muddy drop in the vast seas of life." The counselor blinked. "Ugh. I'm in here cuz I was yelling."

"That's right," the counselor said mistily. "And can you tell me who you were yelling at?"

Yugi shrugged. "Well…don't you ever talk to yourself?" If he mentioned anything about his yami he'd probably be thrown in solitary confinement or something.

"Of course, the counselor said, nodding his head agreeably. "But never yelled at myself.

Yugi didn't say anything. Stupid counselor didn't know what he was talking about. Had _he_ ever had to share a mind with an ancient spirit before? And a rather overbearing spirit at that…

/I am not/ Yami muttered.

/Are too/ Yugi muttered right back.

/_No_, I'm not/

"Would you put a sock in it?" Yugi cried, sitting up straight and stomping his feet.

"I beg you pardon?" the counselor asked, lifting his eyebrows in surprise.

Yugi flinched. "Uh…uh, I said put a sock in it!"

The counselor cocked his head. "To me? I didn't say anything to you."

"Yeah, weellll, it was a late reaction," Yugi said lamely.

"Uh huh…" the counselor stared at him. "You are a very unusual boy…"

Yugi glared at him. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

"You do? So you've been like this for quite some time?"

Oops. "Uh, that's not what I meant….er…I mean come _on_, will you just leave me alone? There's nothing wrong with me!"

RIIIIING!

"Saved by the bell," Yugi muttered under his breath. "Sorry, gotta go!" he hopped to his feet and rushed for the door.

"Wait, Mr. Mouto," the counselor said with meaning.

Yugi rolled his eyes. "What?"

"I want to schedule weekly meetings with you so we can work out these little problems of yours."

"What?" Yugi cried. "But I…_what_ problems? I don't--" A warning look from the counselor hushed him. "_Fine_. See ya later Mr. Frodd."

He went to pick up his books from his history class, and on the way back to his locker Joey, Tristan, and Ryou caught up with him.

"How was history?" Joey asked carefully. "You're Grandpa didn't help you with any homework in there, did he?"

Yugi made a noise of disgust. "No, but I got sent to the office and now have to see the counselor every week."

"No way!" Tristan said disbelievingly. "What did you do?"

"It wasn't my fault, it was Yami! I accidentally argued with him out loud and the counselor sort of overheard. Stupid Yami." He rolled his eyes upward, and in the back of his mind Yami blew him a raspberry. "Oh, yeah, _real _nice Yami. Classy."

Joey and Tristan looked at Yugi worriedly, but Ryou, unnoticed by any of them, smirked rather evilly -- quite unlike himself.

/Seems like somebody isn't getting along with himself/ came a voice from deep within Ryou's mind. /Perhaps we can use little Yugi's problems to drive him and the pharaoh apart, and I can finally get my hands on that Puzzle…/

/No Bakura, leave him alone/

/You can't do a thing to stop me, pathetic hikari/

/Wanna bet, asshole/ replied sweet, lovable Ryou.

/See/ gloated Bakura. /I've already been such a good influence on you/

"Anyways," Yugi was saying, "I've got to get home and chew Gramps out. I swear…" he started grumbling under his breath.

"Uh, okay Yug," Joey said. "See ya tomorrow. Mebbe Tea'll be here then."

"Yeah. Bye guys." Yugi shuffled gloomily out into the monsoon. Both Tristan and Joey were too busy worrying about Yugi to notice Ryou's face systematically switching from an evil smirk to a worried frown and back again.

A little while later, Yugi squished through his front door, and his grandpa was immediately there to greet him.

"Hey Yugi, did you have a nice walk home?"

"No, but it was a rather pleasant swim," he quipped.

Grandpa Mouto smiled. "Well, I'm glad. Do you have any homework? I'll be happy to help you again!"

"You know," Yugi said, putting his hands on his hips, it's funny you mention that Gramps. I just want you to know that I failed two daily assignments and a test thanks to your help! You taught me the wrong formula, so I made a zero on my homework AND the test. And I made a zero on that summary cuz the teacher said I obviously didn't read the assignment and somehow got _The Hobbit_ and _Jane Eyre_ into a book by Daniel Defoe, when it was supposed to be Charles Dickens' _Tale of Two Cities_, set in the Reign of Terror in France!" He was breathing hard, his fists clenched, glaring at his grandfather. "What do you have to say about _that_?"

His grandpa shrugged. "Everyone makes mistakes. Would you like me to make you a snack?"

"Augh!" Yugi threw his hands in the air. He tried to storm past his grandpa, slipped in the puddle he had just made, and fell on his cute lil' butt.

"You okay?" Gramps asked, hurrying over to help him up.

"I'm fine!" Yugi jerked away from his grandpa and ran up the stairs. He threw his bag on the floor and began taking off his soggy clothes. Yami materialized beside him.

"Yugi."

"What?" Yugi hissed, throwing his shoes through his other half's spiritual form.

Yami just crossed his arms and waited.

Yugi threw his soggy pants at him too, then sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "Yami, I…" He sniffled.

Yami sat next to him. "It'll be fine Yugi. I know everything seems bad right now, but once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up."

Pitiful tears trickled down Yugi's rain-wettened face. "How's _that_ supposed to help me?'

"Well, how about some straight advice. I know your grandfather's behavior seems to ruin everything, but being mad will not fix anything. Try your hardest to ignore your grandfather when he's like this and when he says things, give impartial answers, not angry ones. Being angry will only make him think you need more of this attention."

Yugi wiped his eyes and gave Yami a watery smile. "You make it sound so easy."

Yami smiled back. "It can be."

Yugi's smile widened, he reached over to give Yami a hug, and -FWUMP- he passed straight through the spirit and fell off the bed. So much for that touching little moment. "Ouch." Yugi crawled to his feet, looking angry again.

"Are you all right?" Yami asked carefully.

"Yeah," Yugi mumbled, trying hard to contain his anger. "I'm gonna take a shower."


	5. Problems Tend to Magnify and Spread, Don...

**100 Ways to Love Your Child**

Chapter 5- Problems Tend to Magnify and Spread, Don't They?

The next day, Yugi decided to give Yami's advice a try. Every time his grandpa said something annoying, Yugi would just nod. As a matter of fact, the whole "impartial answers" got him through the entire morning without exploding or even feeling frustrated. As a result, little Yugi arrived at school feeling quite chipper, and struck up a normal conversation as soon as he got to first hour.

"Well, I'm sure glad it's stopped raining. That was some storm, huh?"

"Yeah," Joey agreed, relieved to see his friend in a better mood. "This mornin' Serenity tripped an' almost drowned in a puddle!"

Tristan looked up. "The bell's about to ring, is Tea still gone?"

Just as he finished saying this, Tea hurried in with a big coat over her school uniform and the bell at her heels. She spotted their table and sat gingerly down.

"Hey Tea, where were you yesterday?" Yugi asked.

"I -- wasn't feeling well," she answered evasively.

"Why are you wearing such a large coat?" Ryou asked quietly. "We're not really supposed to wear anything over our uniforms."

A pained look crossed her face. "Well, I'm really cold, so I-"

"Gardener!" called the study hall overseer. "Coat off!"

Tea's face fell, and she slowly, carefully, and seemingly painfully removed her coat. The four boys' eyes widened.

"Tea!" Yugi cried. "What happened? You…your…I mean…"

"Your uniform don't fit any more!" Joey sniggered. "The buttons're 'bout ta bust!"

"Shut up!" Tea growled, then she winced and put her hands up to her chest. "Ow. I guess it _is_ pretty obvious. I …well, I-"

"You got a boob job!" Tristan snorted.

"Quiet!" Tea hissed, then winced again. " I don't want the whole school to know!"

"Oh, they'll know all right," Joey chortled.

"You said it yourself, it's pretty obvious," Tristan agreed, trying not to burst out laughing.

"Yeah, dose things're huge!" Joey said, then he and Tristan both collapsed in storms of laughter.

Yugi looked at Tea all innocent-like. "But…I don't understand _why_, Tea. You-" he blushed a little "-looked really good already."

Tea looked at Yugi in a rather pitying way. "I looked okay…but those college girls are all so….well, they were way better-looking than me, and my boyfriend kept dropping hints on how appealing the ones with big boobs were, so I saved up loads of money and mooched off my parents and-"

"You have a college boyfriend?" Ryou asked incredulously, which brought both Tristan and Joey out of their laughter and back into the conversation.

"Seriously?" Joey asked.

"Actually, he's a professor." She slapped her hand over her mouth. "I mean- …I didn't mean to tell you guys that." She lowered her hand slowly and looked at them all beseechingly. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

They all nodded slowly. Joey and Tristan were both wide-eyed and stifling their laughter, Ryou looked utterly shocked, and Yugi looked just plain hurt. Tea heaved a sigh of relief.

"You know, it fells pretty good getting that off my chest." Her eyes widened as she realized what she said, and she burst into to horrible high- pitched laughter. "Isn't that so funny! I didn't mean it like that! Hee hee…Get it off my _chest_, get it? Hee hee…"

Yugi sat in Algebra II, chewing on his pencil and feeling horribly depressed. /She has a _boyfriend_ Yami! I can't believe it! I thought she…well, that maybe she…/

/Liked you/ Yami thought knowingly.

Yugi sunk down in his chair. /Yes/

/Well so did I. It's as much a shock to me as it is to you/

Yugi gnawed even harder on the end of his pencil. /But how could she do such a thing? I mean, this guy is probably ten, maybe twenty years older than her! That's horrible! And isn't that illegal/

/How should I know? It _is_ morally wrong, however/

/Yeah/ Yugi accidentally bit off the eraser to his pencil. /Oops/

Yami, not noticing the separation of the eraser from its pencil, continued on about Tea. /Abandoning us for this college professor scum? Who couldn't even like her if she didn't criminally enlarge her breasts? Which she did! The wench --/

Yugi gasped at hearing such an exclamation from Yami, and the eraser lodged itself in the back of his throat. He coughed, but the eraser was stuck firmly.

You could almost hear Yami slap his hand over his mouth. /Dear Ra, I didn't mean to say that! Are you all right Yugi/

Yugi dropped his pencil and put his hands to his throat. His eyes started watering. /Yami help, I can't breathe/ He began gagging, and his face went very red. Ryou, in the desk in front of him, turned around.

"Are you okay Yugi?" he whispered.

Yugi shook his head, his eyes watering profusely and his face progressing towards purple.

Ryou's eyes widened. "Yugi? Yugi what's wrong?" The whole class was staring. Yugi banged his hands on his desk in a panic, his eyes widening and his face now very blue. Ryou leaped out of his chair. "Oh my God, he's choking!" Yugi nodded desperately. "Get up Yugi, I know the Heimlich Maneuver!" Ryou cried. Yugi stumbled to his feet, but as Ryou reached for him, little Yugi's endurance ran out, and he collapsed on the hard tile floor with Yami screaming in the back of his mind.

Yugi awoke with a splitting headache in the nurse's office. The nurse, a sweet dumpy lady, was standing over him, and when she saw him open his eyes she breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good, you're awake! We were so worried."

Yugi sat up slowly, his head about to implode. "How did I get here?"

"Don't you remember dear?" the nurse asked kindly. Yugi shook his head slowly. "Well you were choking on something, and you passed out--"

"I think I remember that part."

The nurse nodded. "Yes, well, after that, young Ryou here--" Ryou stepped up beside the nurse, looking a little embarrassed "--he removed the object you were choking on and then gave you mouth-to-mouth until you started breathing again!" Yugi stared at Ryou disbelievingly, and the nurse gave a happy little sigh. "Well, shall I phone your house and send you home dear?"

Yugi's eyes widened. "No! No, don't do that!" He head throbbed, and he spoke quieter. "Just a couple Tylenol and I'll be fine. Really."

As soon as they'd left the nurse's office, Yugi turned to Ryou. "Ryou, I --"

"Don't bother Yugi," Ryou cut him off. "It was no big deal, really it wasn't."

Yugi waved his hand dismissively. "Oh _sure_ Ryou, you _only_ saved my life." He smiled gratefully at his friend. "I'm just saying, if you ever need…like a favor or something…I owe you big time."

Ryou smiled back, but deep within his mind, laughter flared up.

/It's too easy/ Bakura cackled. /Just _ask_ the twerp for his Puzzle. The Pharaoh has no say in it, because little Yugi owes you his life/

/I can't do that/ Ryou protested.

/Do it, or _I'll_ take over and take it by force/

Ryou heaved a mental sigh. /I can't let you hurt anybody. I'll get it for you, just give me a little time/

Before Yugi and Ryou could get back to their second hour class, the bell rang and students flooded through the hallways. Almost immediately a little redhead and a tall brunette sprinted up to Ryou.

"Ryou, is it true you saved Yugi's life?" gushed the little redhead.

"That's so amazing of you!" squealed the brunette.

Ryou sweatdropped. "Uh, yeah, well, I would've done the same for any of my friends, really --"

More girls flocked around him. "Am _I_ your friend Ryou?" asked a girl with curly hair and freckles.

"I'd like mouth-to-mouth from you, Ryou," purred a girl with waist-length, raven-black hair.

Ryou gulped. "Well, I uh…"

/Quick Ryou, let me take over! I can help/

/But…I really don't know yami…/

/I promise you, I won't hurt anybody. I'll only take over for a few minutes to help you out of this mess/

/All right/

Yugi watched as Ryou was swept away in the deluge of young women, then shrugged. "Huh. Off to third hour, I 'spose!"


End file.
